{"id":1378,"date":"2012-10-12T20:48:29","date_gmt":"2012-10-12T17:48:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sukofamily.org\/?p=1378"},"modified":"2012-11-29T08:18:12","modified_gmt":"2012-11-29T06:18:12","slug":"the-most-important-principle-of-child-raising","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sukofamily.org\/the-most-important-principle-of-child-raising\/","title":{"rendered":"The Most Important Principle of Child Raising"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>What is the single most important principle of child raising? Is it loving your child, keeping discipline in the home or teaching biblical principles? While those are all important, my answer is &#8220;no&#8221;. In my 13 years of fatherhood I have come to the conclusion that there is one principle that is more significant and when properly understood changes the way we parent.<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_1379\" style=\"width: 650px\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-1379\" data-attachment-id=\"1379\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/sukofamily.org\/the-most-important-principle-of-child-raising\/sony-dsc-82\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/sukofamily.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/10\/DSC09892.jpg\" data-orig-size=\"640,359\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;5.6&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;Picasa&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;NEX-3&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;1345117954&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;21&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;3200&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0.0003125&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;SONY DSC&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"SONY DSC\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"&lt;p&gt;The Suko family with both sets of grandparents&lt;\/p&gt;\n\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/sukofamily.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/10\/DSC09892.jpg\" class=\"size-full wp-image-1379\" title=\"SONY DSC\" src=\"http:\/\/69.89.31.195\/~sukofami\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/10\/DSC09892.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"359\" srcset=\"https:\/\/sukofamily.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/10\/DSC09892.jpg 640w, https:\/\/sukofamily.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/10\/DSC09892-300x168.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" \/><p id=\"caption-attachment-1379\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">The Suko family with both sets of grandparents<\/p><\/div>\n<p>So what principle am I referring to? <strong>The principle of the heart!<\/strong> I firmly believe that this is one of the most vital concepts for parents to understand.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Simply stated it looks like this: <strong>The job of a parent is to mold and shape the heart of his child, not just control his behavior.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h5>2 ways to change behavior<\/h5>\n<ul>\n<li>We can change another person&#8217;s behavior through discipline and control. Certainly we must use this method, especially when the child is young, however the problem with this method is that it is usually very temporary. Once the external discipline is lifted any change in behavior is lost.<\/li>\n<li>We can also change behavior by influencing the heart through a combination of teaching and example. Unfortunately this is much more difficult but worth the effort in the long run.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Have you ever noticed that often when we begin talking about parenting we focus on the outward problems of our children and not the inward source? We ask questions like, &#8220;how can I get my child to do his homework?&#8221; or &#8220;Why do I have to tell him 20 times before he responds?&#8221; What we often don&#8217;t realize is that these bad behaviors are simply the result of the child&#8217;s heart.<\/p>\n<h5>2 truths for parents<\/h5>\n<ul>\n<li>We need to recognize that our children inherited from us a bent towards evil.\u00a0This means that without our guidance, influence and teaching our children will always tend towards evil just as we did! &#8220;<strong style=\"text-align: center;\">And Jehovah saw that the evil of man was great on the earth, and every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil all the day long.&#8221; Genesis 6:5<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"text-align: center;\">We also need to realize that our main job is to influence and shape the heart. This means that we need to look beyond the behavior to find the real root of the problem and that is where we begin our work. &#8220;<\/span><strong id=\"internal-source-marker_0.46029062545858324\" style=\"text-align: center;\">Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it are the issues of life.&#8221; Proverbs 4:23<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h5 style=\"text-align: left;\">Question: What can you change in your parenting methods to more effectively reach your child&#8217;s heart?<\/h5>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/gp\/product\/0966378601\/ref=as_li_tf_il?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=9325&amp;creativeASIN=0966378601&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=sukfam-20\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft\" style=\"border: 0px;\" src=\"http:\/\/ws.assoc-amazon.com\/widgets\/q?_encoding=UTF8&amp;ASIN=0966378601&amp;Format=_SL160_&amp;ID=AsinImage&amp;MarketPlace=US&amp;ServiceVersion=20070822&amp;WS=1&amp;tag=sukfam-20\" alt=\"\" width=\"106\" height=\"160\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;\" src=\"http:\/\/www.assoc-amazon.com\/e\/ir?t=sukfam-20&amp;l=as2&amp;o=1&amp;a=0966378601\" alt=\"\" width=\"1\" height=\"1\" border=\"0\" \/>\u00a0For further reading on how to effectively guide your child&#8217;s heart I highly recommend Tedd Tripp&#8217;s book <a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/gp\/product\/0966378601\/ref=as_li_tf_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=9325&amp;creativeASIN=0966378601&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=sukfam-20\" target=\"_blank\">Shepherding a Child&#8217;s Heart<\/a><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;\" src=\"http:\/\/www.assoc-amazon.com\/e\/ir?t=sukfam-20&amp;l=as2&amp;o=1&amp;a=0966378601\" alt=\"\" width=\"1\" height=\"1\" border=\"0\" \/><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What is the single most important principle of child raising? Is it loving your child, keeping discipline in the home or teaching biblical principles?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1379,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[31],"tags":[165,68,382,220,114],"class_list":["post-1378","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-writing","tag-child-raising","tag-children","tag-family","tag-heart","tag-parenting"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/sukofamily.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/10\/DSC09892.jpg","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3izZc-me","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":3109,"url":"https:\/\/sukofamily.org\/11-parenting-pitfalls-podcast\/","url_meta":{"origin":1378,"position":0},"title":"#11 Parenting Pitfalls -Podcast","author":"Caleb Suko","date":"September 28, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Every parent has those moments in child raising when they wonder, \"Where did my perfect little child go?\" \u00a0I have five kids and you can be sure that I've been there too! In this episode of Now is the Time\u00a0I share with you 7 pitfalls that parents commonly fall into.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;The Gospel Today&quot;","block_context":{"text":"The Gospel Today","link":"https:\/\/sukofamily.org\/category\/podcast\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sukofamily.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/DSC05731-001.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sukofamily.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/DSC05731-001.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sukofamily.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/DSC05731-001.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":2991,"url":"https:\/\/sukofamily.org\/3-facts-parents-should-know-before-sending-their-child-school\/","url_meta":{"origin":1378,"position":1},"title":"3 Facts Parents Should Know Before Sending Their Child to School","author":"Caleb Suko","date":"September 2, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Before the start of each school year we spend time and money to make sure everything is ready. We buy new school clothes, backpacks, pencil holders and all the other gadgets our kids might need. Your child might be ready to learn but that doesn't mean he's ready for school.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Writing&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Writing","link":"https:\/\/sukofamily.org\/category\/writing\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sukofamily.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/DSC00160.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sukofamily.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/DSC00160.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sukofamily.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/DSC00160.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":12573,"url":"https:\/\/sukofamily.org\/our-son-left-us-and-this-is-how-we-dealt-with-it\/","url_meta":{"origin":1378,"position":2},"title":"Our Son Left Us and This Is How We Dealt With It","author":"Caleb Suko","date":"September 3, 2020","format":"audio","excerpt":"Recently our oldest son Mishael left us and moved to the US. This is our second child to leave the home. In this episode Christina and I talk about how we deal with children leaving the home and we give some advice that helped us. We also talk about some\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Family&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Family","link":"https:\/\/sukofamily.org\/category\/family\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sukofamily.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/e3393f03-038e-4e80-9a16-1b845ef609a2.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sukofamily.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/e3393f03-038e-4e80-9a16-1b845ef609a2.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sukofamily.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/e3393f03-038e-4e80-9a16-1b845ef609a2.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sukofamily.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/e3393f03-038e-4e80-9a16-1b845ef609a2.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sukofamily.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/e3393f03-038e-4e80-9a16-1b845ef609a2.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":839,"url":"https:\/\/sukofamily.org\/why-i-think-giving-birth-is-easy\/","url_meta":{"origin":1378,"position":3},"title":"Why I Think Giving Birth is Easy","author":"Caleb Suko","date":"May 13, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Yes, I am a man and no, I've never given birth! However, before you crucify me for such a statement on Mother's day take a few minutes to hear me out. I was physically present and involved at the birth of each of my five children, so I've been as\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Family&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Family","link":"https:\/\/sukofamily.org\/category\/family\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sukofamily.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/05\/DSC05719.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sukofamily.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/05\/DSC05719.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sukofamily.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/05\/DSC05719.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":3041,"url":"https:\/\/sukofamily.org\/stop-telling-your-child-to-behave\/","url_meta":{"origin":1378,"position":4},"title":"Stop Telling Your Child to Behave!","author":"Caleb Suko","date":"September 12, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Yes, you read that title correctly, you need to stop telling your child to behave! Why? Because you're missing the point. Life isn't just about good behavior, it's about having a heart that's right with God. When all we do is tell our children how to behave we forget that\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Writing&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Writing","link":"https:\/\/sukofamily.org\/category\/writing\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sukofamily.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/Stop-Telling-Your-Child-To-Behave.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sukofamily.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/Stop-Telling-Your-Child-To-Behave.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sukofamily.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/Stop-Telling-Your-Child-To-Behave.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":3179,"url":"https:\/\/sukofamily.org\/13-how-to-communicate-the-gospel-to-your-child-at-every-age-level-podcast\/","url_meta":{"origin":1378,"position":5},"title":"#13 How to Communicate the Gospel to Your Child at Every Age Level -Podcast","author":"Caleb Suko","date":"October 18, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Do you want your child to share your faith? Most Christian parents do but many fail! Unfortunately there is no exact formula to follow but there are some principles that every parent should be aware of. In this episode of Now is the Time I share with you some tips\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;The Gospel Today&quot;","block_context":{"text":"The Gospel Today","link":"https:\/\/sukofamily.org\/category\/podcast\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sukofamily.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/10\/DSC01310.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sukofamily.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/10\/DSC01310.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sukofamily.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/10\/DSC01310.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sukofamily.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1378","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sukofamily.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sukofamily.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sukofamily.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sukofamily.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1378"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sukofamily.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1378\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sukofamily.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1379"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sukofamily.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1378"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sukofamily.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1378"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sukofamily.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1378"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}